![]() ![]() You have to be on your toes with the little guys, ready to remind them how to express themselves appropriately at every turn. In my younger preschool classroom (with 2- and 3-year-olds), it’s all we do: interpret behavior and help our students articulate their wants, needs, and ideas. Listen like you care, but also listen for moments when they need your help to express themselves. The single best way to encourage our children to express themselves is not screaming “Use your words!” It’s to listen. Believe it or not, if you put in the time now, it gets easier. Interpret their behavior and provide the exact missing language in its most basic form. If you have a toddler, be prepared to do this all day long. Say it in the tone you want your child to mimic. The next time your child is so perplexed that she gives up on verbal communication, ask yourself instead: “What words does this child need?” Go ahead and provide the exact words in their simplest form. They can give those words to you as effortlessly as they can say, “Use your words.” They’ve been speaking this language for years. Maybe it would help if, instead, your teachers gave you the exact words to say, in their simplest form. Just as you’re about to grab your sandwich back (and maybe smack the thief), your favorite teacher yells: “Use your words!” Then, your classmate snatches your sandwich right out of your hands. Imagine you were learning a brand new language. The fact that we’re printing the story does, however, reflect a belief that it is an interesting and worthwhile read. Opinions expressed in the story do not reflect the opinions of Fatherly as a publication. This story was submitted by a Fatherly reader. We tell them to “use their words” when they’re frustrated and emotional - not the best time to search their inner toddler dictionary for le mot juste. When young children don’t use their words, it’s not because they don’t want to but because they can’t. I know it’s well-intentioned: Better to say something than hit something. In this set of resources, we will focus on how you can help children learn to use words to express how they are feeling so others will understand how they feel and/or what they what.You’ve said it. Just like Daniel Tiger in DANIEL TIGER'S NEIGHBORHOOD is still learning to express his feelings through words, young children must learn this skill from the trusted, caring adults in their lives. That can be one of the times when children find it most difficult to tell us how they feel. Sometimes feelings can feel jumbled inside and are hard to sort out or name. ![]() Of course, talking about feelings can be a challenge for people at any age even more so for young children who don't use words well, especially when they are upset. Language plays a key role in helping children deal with their feelings. The life-long lesson lies in the willingness to keep on trying. We can learn from the strength of the people we trust the most, people who guide us, but do not take over for us. Sometimes our determination is enough to make us keep trying, but sometimes we need someone who can encourage us and help us sustain the belief that we can succeed even when we doubt ourselves. We don't always succeed in everything we try. ![]()
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